7 ways to ensure your child never thinks about suicide
I don’t think there has ever been a more scary time to be a parent.
The world has changed and it appears dangerous on the face of it. But the real dangers to your child lie in the seemingly friendly and helpful. That is what make them so dangerous.
Suicide is on the rise. All you have do is type in “child suicide statistics” and you will see article after article pointing this out.
If that is not real to you, think back to when we were all younger. Suicide was unheard of when we were kids. And yet today my sons have gone to funerals for their young school friends who have taken their own lives.
I see them with pain in their eyes and question marks above their heads wondering what happened, how this person they thought they knew could kill himself and is it possible that someday, it might happen to them too?
Society is filled with ideological traps. The normalization of violence, the rise of “reality tv” that glorifies the worst possible behavior, and the unholy dependence on drugs to get by in life, are only a few.
Little by little they creep into the culture and the minds of our children. Behavior that used to be unheard of is now “normal”.
Many parents inherently know there are traps that are viciously covert and deadly but when asked, they probably cannot name them.
I would like to take a moment to tell you that I know that this post will be lambasted as similar posts I have written on this subject have.
I do not write it lightly.
I personally love to be lighthearted in my posts but right now I am being deadly serious because frankly, watching children so desperate that they take their own lives and families destroyed by grief has gotten on my very last nerve and I really don’t give a shit what anyone else has to say about it. I must speak my mind.
I have never lied to you and I will never start. These are the traps set by segments of society that will catch you and your child if you are not aware and equipped to deal with them.
Psychiatric labeling and drugging.
Just in the last couple of days we have lost another brilliant artist to psych drugs. Chris Cornell was on prescription drug Ativan when his decided to hang himself.
Shortly before that Robin Williams took his own life. He was also on psych drugs.
I have been studying these drugs for quite some time and I asked a physician who is an expert on them, what it was that made them so dangerous.
He explained that these drugs are designed to reduce anxiety but in reality, they strip a person of all feeling so that their life is numb. If a person is in pain, you might think this is a good thing but let’s look closely at how we deal with life.
In life, we have certain “censors” or “governors” . These are feelings that are built into us, feelings like revulsion or horror that stop us from doing horrible things.
A person on these drugs, this doctor explained, will start to think of things he used to be rightly afraid to think about because they were just too horrible. Now instead of being repulsed by them, these horrific things only seem….”interesting”.
The consequences of horrific action are no longer anything to be afraid of simply because one cannot feel fear or any other emotion. So to them, committing suicide is no big deal. Killing a toddler is no big deal. Shooting up a school full of children is something designed to test their inability feel remorse or pain no matter what unthinkable crime they commit. So they go out and do it.
To them there are no consequences because fear, anger, upset, remorse, guilt, all are alien to them. So too are the emotions that make us desire to live. There is no joy for someone on these drugs. There is no love, no laughter, no hopes and dreams for the future. There is nothing but a void where life used be.
And somewhere in the deep recesses of their minds, they know that someone who is incapable of feeling remorse, revulsion or guilt is an unspeakable monster. They must know that this is what they have become.
How, we ask ourselves, can a brilliant entertainer go onstage, sing or act his heart out, receive the love and admiration of a huge number of people, and then kill himself?
As an artist myself, I can tell you that the worst thing that could ever happen, the thing that kills you as an artist and as a person is the inability to feel, the inability to connect with other human beings. Without that, there is nothing to live for.
This is one factor to consider when talking about these drugs. The other is their insanely addictive nature.
A conversation I had with another doctor who has built a practice on weaning people off these toxic drugs, revealed that these drugs are so addictive that withdrawal has to be done on a very, very gentle gradient.
This doctor told me about how carefully they shave tiny pieces off the pill in order to reduce the dose in such a way as to avoid suicide or simply death from withdrawal. It takes years and some people’s bodies will never be the same.
These drugs are designed to cross the blood/brain barrier and they disrupt the exact balances of biological chemicals in the brain. This may never return to normal.
School systems based on a materialistic model
What I mean by that is that many modern education methods are based on the idea that a child is an animal and responds the same way a dog or rat would.
This is the biggest lie and the biggest degrade that can ever be foisted on anyone.
We are spiritual beings that exist IN bodies. We are NOT bodies.
Bodies alone do not create great masterpieces. They do not make music. If you think they do, think back the the last time you watched a group of cows discussing philosophy while belching up cud.
As spiritual beings we have the best and most beautiful inside us. We are the great artists, sculptors, musicians, composers and creators of life, and your child is one of them.
Any educator who thinks differently must be shown the door because they are criminally misinformed.
It is no secret that the drugs given to children to make them sit still for hours on end in class are disproportionately given to boys.
According to Esquire.com, boys are 41% more likely to be labelled mentally ill and given toxic psych drugs than girls.
Additionally, according to the Mercury News site, children in foster care are targeted for the dispensation of psychiatric drugs.
The symptoms of ADD and ADHD, many times are symptoms of being a boy or an enthusiastic child. They are also symptom of confusion.
The goal of a tractable child or a child who sits still for hours on end points to a problem with the teaching methods and the goal and not with the student. When you have to drug a disproportionate number of school children to mold them to fit the model, there is something wrong with the model, not the child.
Decades back, the education system changed and the materialistic based model for education became the norm. Since then education statistics have plummeted.
The literacy rates in the US are staggering. According to a study conducted by the US Dept. of Eduction and the National Institute of Literacy, a whopping 14% of the US population cannot read. 21% cannot read above a fifth grade level and 19% of high school graduates, GRADUATES cannot read!
Study after study directly links illiteracy to crime and an inability to escape poverty.
It is time to start looking at the statistics of the educational methods in place in our country. They are not working. And they are creating a class of unhappy, unproductive, drugged and disenfranchised people.
It is also obvious that there is a link between illiteracy and the next covert trap.
Do you remember the last time you were confused about something important? Were you desperate? Would you have done anything for a solution? Did you exhibit nervousness, inability to concentrate, inability to complete tasks? Were you disorganized. Were you forgetful and easily distracted?
Children in school exhibit these symptoms on a regular basis and instead of recognizing them for what they are, symptoms of confusion, they are labelled ADD and ADHD and the child is labelled and drugged.
The symptoms of confusion are pretty much the same as the symptoms of ADHD. These are also the symptoms of simply being a child.
When you look at it, a child is born naked and alone in this world. They do not understand the laws of the physical universe, much less the complex laws of human relationships. They are trusting and believe what they are told.
Everywhere contrary facts are introduced as gospel not to be questioned.
This amounts to confusion on top of confusion and is overwhelming to a child. If he is further made wrong for being confused, a condition he has no solution for, he will give up on life.
Additionally a child does not have the grasp of the English language that adults do but many teaching methods fail to take this into account and write instructions to the grade level of the child.
I was once tutoring a young man who had been diagnosed with ADHD. He was exhibiting the symptoms of confusion and when I read the instructions to his homework. They were incomprehensible.
We took them back to the teacher who loudly blamed him for “not paying attention” when she was explaining it. The fact that she was so upset about simply being asked for clarification of something clearly incomprehensible, was clear evidence that she, herself did not understand it as she was exhibiting confusion as well.
His sister, the same day was having trouble with what should have been a simple task. The instructions said “Ring the answer that fits best.”
Ring? Really? Why not just say “Circle the answer that fits best”? Why do you have to go out of your way to be confusing?
I got out a dictionary and went over all the definitions of the word “ring” and she understood it. But how many parents or teachers for that matter understand the impact of misunderstood words in education?
There was nothing wrong with these kids except that they didn’t understand the incomprehensible.
A culture that does not value human life
I hate to bring up alarming news but there have been several children who have taken their lives on Facebook Live. there have also been murders and assaults committed and filmed to upload.
Recently I attended a talk by a pastor from Compton. He was boots on the ground there trying to get a handle on the crime and violence.
He told stories about kids joining the street gangs there. In order to be accepted into the group, they are given a gun and told to go out and shoot and kill the first person they see. This could be your mom, your daughter, your baby niece, anyone, if it is the first persons they see.
This culture exists and it tells us that some people are beneath us or that their lives do not matter. It tells us that we are the only ones who are important. Other people’s hopes and dreams, their security and compassion are all useless. If one truly believes that about others, how can he not believe that of himself?
The only cure for that, aside from handling the points I gave you above, is to take your child out to meet people. Volunteering is a great way to build confidence and knowledge of the inherent goodness of oneself. It combats disassociation or the idea that other people are nothing to you.
Be an example of this. If you go out of your way to help others, your child will see that it is important. He will see how other people react to help and he will get the idea that other people do matter and their happiness is part of his life too.
A culture of apathy
There is a perverse idea that nothing can be done about anything. Everything is so bad and those opposing us are so many and so powerful that we cannot fight back.
This is a lie. The people on they earth who are good and kind and respectful are the vast majority. They are quiet so you do not notice but when there is a disaster, they respond in force.
These are the people to align oneself with. And when your child realizes this, he will be successful. He will see that education and hard work will pay off and that banding together with like minded people is way more powerful than the cowards who will destroy our society given half a chance.
So what can we do?
1. Create good and loving communication with your child.
Your child, from the day he was born, has been doing the absolute best he can in life. He was born good. He desperately wants to please you. He wants to fit in. Talk to him a lot. Ask about his thoughts, his feeling and his ideas. Become a valuable and trusted person he can talk to about anything.
If you do this he will know he is never alone. And you will have many chances to help him handle overwhelming situations.
Do not belittle, yell or invalidate. Do not tell him what to think but ask questions that might lead him into working things out for himself. You can also tell him ways you have handled similar situations and what worked and didn’t. If you have good communication with your child and maintain this on a daily basis, he will have someone he knows he can trust.
Listen to him.
2. Defend your child.
It is an unfortunate truth that while they cannot outright recommend medication to you for your child, teachers and administrators can recommend that you take your child to a doctor who will put him on drugs. The pressure they can exert can be very compelling.
A confused child, and overwhelmed child, an active child or an imaginative child are all children who risk being put on psych medication.
When I was a kid, I fit all of the parameters of an “ADHD child” fortunately for me, the drugs were not created yet, otherwise I might not be here.
Teachers, doctors, school administrators, counselors and other professionals are not always right and the drugging of the school aged child is an epidemic in America.
The educators and physicians have been sold a bill of goods in these and many other toxic drugs.
On a slightly different note, I saw a commercial the other day for a pill to handle opioid medication related constipation. It showed a vibrant contractor walking about perfectly, lifting things and talking animatedly while allegedly being on opioid pain medication for a chronic bad back.
The only problem in his life, according to him, was not the fact that he was ADDICTED TO OPIOID PAIN MEDICATIONS but that he could not poop!
Since when did being addicted to opioid pain medications become “normal”?
Opioids come from opium, the same base as heroin. Addiction to these meds is not normal by any standard.
And when was the last time you saw someone addicted to opioid pain medication looking anything other than completely wasted?
The pharmaceutical companies are raking in big money drugging everyone in society for every perceived human frailty and making it seem normal. It is not.
History will be the judge of these psych medications as it has been with Thalidomide, Fenfen, and other pharmaceutical disasters.
If anyone suggests that your child is mentally ill and you see that he is normal, he is normal and you had better fight to the last breath to defend him.
Children, like adults have problems, they have situations, they get frustrated and upset. These are NOT mental illnesses even if they happen a lot. They are symptoms that tell you something is going on in your child’s life and it has been missed.
3. Help your child through difficult life situations.
As parents we don’t always know what is going on in our children’s heads. Their views of life are so different. the things they worry about may seem like nothing to us but loom large and menacing in a child’s universe.
Again, communication is the key. If you child is being teased or bullied, take it seriously. If he has an upset with a teacher or fellow student, help him.
Get his side of the story and treat it as importantly as you would anyone else’s. Just because he is a child doesn’t mean he is wrong. And just because someone else tells you he is wrong, doesn’t make it so.
4. Be alert to the signs of trouble
You know when something is wrong. You can tell.
Sometimes a child will be so upset that he refuses to talk. This can make it difficult to get into good communication with him.
If that occurs, tell him it is ok not to talk and open the conversation with something else. Buy him ice cream. let him know you are there. Sooner or later he will talk to you. Don’t lose patience.
5. Let him know it is not he who is crazy
It is very normal for a child to think he is the only one who thinks and feels the way he does. but guess what? the world is completely insane. I’m sorry to say out loud what we are all thinking but it is NUTS!
And the narrative is that if it seems abnormal to you, there is something wrong with you. Well, there isn’t.
There are all kinds of ideas that make no sense and they are pushed forth by authoritarians as truth. If pounded into a child and ultimately accepted, your child will completely lose confidence in his ability to judge truth. It will cause massive confusion and make him miserable.
Sometimes just knowing that there is nothing wrong with you, that the problem is cultural, can be a very big relief.
6. Watch for food allergies and sensitivities
It is no secret that our food supply has deteriorated over the years. Additives to protect freshness have been added without regard to what they do to nutritional values and how they react in little bodies.
Excess sugar can act like a drug in kids. Watch the next time cake comes out at a birthday party . The kids go completely nuts after that.
Allergies and sensitivities can cause behavioral problems and these are not looked at by conventional medicine. Many times just handling a child’s diet can make a huge change in his mental state.
7. Limit TV watching.
Television is hypnotic. There is no interaction, only a flowing in of messages and information, most of it wildly inappropriate.
If your child watches tv, watch it together and interact with him about it. Discuss a movie. Talk about what he has seen. Get his take on things.
If you notice that he gets grumpy after watching tv, limit it severely.
Understand that where you are with your child, whatever condition he is in or how bad things are, there is no point of no return. Anyone can ben helped and pulled out of any situation no matter how far gone they seem to be.
Your child does not have to become another statistic. He can have a wonderful and bright future. But this period in his life is of vital importance.
If you do the above things, you will have given him much more than a fighting chance.
I hope this helps.
For more data on study technology that handles confusion check out this online course