Chris here taking badass finger to seriously badass keyboard to write to you about getting your groove back.
Grooves are weird life accouterments. We know when we have them but we don’t notice them quietly deteriorating until we look up one day and have none at all. Where did they go? What happened that life suddenly stole them from us?
I had fallen into this. Over the last few years of my life, I had gotten tired. I had had too many losses and disappointments to count and I couldn’t even remember what a groove felt like.
During the 80’s I was a working musician. I had gigs lined up, I would go buy gig clothes and dress up. I would practice like a maniac so on gig night I KNEW I was badass. it was so exciting and gave me something to look forward to.
Later I got married and had kids. This is not something that steals your groove but that adds to it.
Unfortunately I did not do it right.
I had a job in an extremely suppressive industry. In my position you could not win no matter what you did or how hard you tried. Every day you would see bitter unfairness in life and it ground me down to an apathetic powder.
To make matter worse, I had several people in my life who were, in a word, toxic. My back was filled with sabres from these people as I had been stabbed in the back so many times.
Finally things came to a head and I put my foot down.
Now getting to the point where you put your foot down hard is very scary. There is no backing off from a foot that has been shoved down with intention. All you can do is trust yourself and carry on through.
I did this and got some help from my church.
Ditch your shitty job
I made a pact that I would never work in a job like that again.
My job was in California Worker’s Compensation Insurance. It was shitty. it paid a lot but it was shitty.
One thing I learned while doing that job however was the concept of transferable job skills, i.e. what job might match up with the skill set that you have? You would be surprised. There are a lot. I found one that works perfectly for me.
If you hate your job, take a look at what other jobs you can do with the skill set you have.
Make a list of all the skills you have learned in your job and through your education. You might be very surprised at how many jobs require the same skill sets. Don’t forget life skills like communication or the ability to handle tough people.
Purge toxic people from your life
I ruthlessly purged from my life all the toxic people and you should have heard them scream! These are the people who are systematically destroying your life and running you down yet when you kick them out of your universe they have a shit hemorrhage.
I just let them scream. I did not try to make sense of their craziness and moved forward.
Look for areas in your life that need improvement
Then I got with the people who really mattered to me. We got communication in and dug out more areas that were making all of our lives hard.
in my case, I had a house with half an acre of yard. I could not keep it clean and the yard maintained. I could not handle all of that and a pool and work full time. It was just too much. I HATED that house. But my kids were still in school and needed a place to live.
So with help from my real estate friend, we renovated the house and sold it so we could have enough money to purchase a small condo for the boys and one for me and my husband.
“But Chris”, you probably are saying in your head, “you had a beautiful house. It’s what everyone wants.” Well, everyone can have it. I love my condo. I have set it up so it is streamlined, functional and beautiful. Since it is smaller, I did not have to spend a huge amount of money to make it what my husband and I wanted.
Additionally we furnished it with beautiful furniture we found at estate sales so it cost next to nothing.
Someone else handles the pools and the landscaping. Saturday morning I get up and spend an hour or two cleaning then I have the rest of my weekend to do whatever I want.
I no longer work in a job where I cannot win. I no longer have to constantly defend myself or wonder where the next attack is going to come from. My life is my own and I am lucky enough to share it with wonderful family and friends.
It is heaven. I am no longer a slave.
Is your groove gone? Are you hating your life?
Sometimes you have to put your foot down and be ready to make giant changes. And sometimes it is only one thing that needs to change. In any case, you do need to start.
Do you want help? I am really good at creating beautiful lives and I have a lot of tools. Let me know.
Oh! and By the way, Chasing La Bella Vita is 82 followers away from 10,000. If you want to be a badass chaser of all things beautiful, sign up now!