A giraffe not giving a shit
Ciao Belli Babies!
A flippant Chris here taking carefree finger to whimsical keyboard to talk to you about Not Giving a Shit.
Now before you rush to judgement and decide that this is an irresponsible post about caring only for oneself, I must defend a bit here.
I am not advocating not giving a shit about anything or everything, just the things that make your life a living hell.
There are certain things in life that make you miserable, that you are limited in your capacity to change and that frankly, you should not give a shit about.
In the following bullet points I will expose the not-giving-a-shit worthy details of life and, as a bonus feature, a solution on giving a little bit of a shit so that some responsibility is being taken and we will not end up with an ethics blind spot that then takes over our lives as ethics blind spots sometimes do.
The fact that you are getting older.
Let’s deconstruct this a bit. YOU are not getting older, your BODY is getting older. These two things are separate and distinct. You are getting more educated on how life works. You are learning and growing. Your body is getting older.
In this somewhat degraded culture, there is much effort to convince us that we are our bodies. And that our bodies are only pretty and desirable when they are young.
Further we are exposed to “perfect” bodies of film and movie stars whose careers depend on them keeping their bodies from aging. They can afford trips to the gym daily and liposuction. In addition, photos of them are photoshopped to within an inch of their lives.
I just saw a photo of Kim Kardashian’s quasi-naked ass on Facebook the other day and frankly, it freaked me out.
This is an impossible and wholly artificial standard of “beauty”.
Now I love a beautiful body as much as anyone but what I love more is a beautiful spirit.
I have seen women in their 80’s who are so compelling and stunning to look at that I cannot look away. Their eyes sparkle and they talk animatedly about the things they are passionate about.
They don’t give a shit about how big their waistlines are or how many wrinkles they might have.
It is a novel thought to realize, that when someone looks at a beautiful person, they are not looking at the body but at the spirit inhabiting the body. This is what makes them beautiful. This is what makes it so that you cannot turn your eyes.
I have secretly watched those beautiful people. The way they hold themselves, the way they gesture, the way they laugh. There is no pose or attitude that is unattractive. Every mood that crosses their face is beautiful and compelling.
No mere body can do that. Only a beautiful and strong spirit can and it doesn’t matter what body it is in.
Don’t give a shit about how your body measures up to other bodies. Give a shit about how you express your passion and how you live.
Other people’s opinions
People are allowed to express their opinions but that doesn’t mean you cannot express yours if they are divergent from theirs.
There are all kinds of people on this planet and a remarkable percentage of them cannot see facts, consequences and reality.
Integrity is seeing what you see and not “unseeing” it to align yourself with others. There is no safety in blindness even if others are threatening you and enforcing their beliefs on you.
A society and an individual are in trouble the minute they decide that they do not have to see because others will see for them. Depending on the media to inform without vetting their stories is extremely dangerous.
Depending on anyone else to decide for you except when you are ordering dinner, is dangerous.
You must look at everything and decide for yourself. Then hold your position unless a truly compelling fact changes your mind.
Don’t give a shit about what “everyone thinks”. You would be surprised to find that much of the time “everybody” is wrong. If that seems odd to you, just look at the state of our world. There are forces destroying our lives and culture and yet “everyone” is convinced that going on the way we have been is correct.
You know what is right. Do that.
Critical voices in your head
You know those don’t you? The ones that tell you you aren’t smart enough, thin enough, pretty enough, HEY ENOUGH’S ENOUGH!
Those stupid things are lying little machines that spring into action every time you do anything. If you listened you would never do anything.
They are like a snotty little kid waiting to push you down and mock you when you even think about doing something. They are not friends or conscience or anything good. They are lying sacks of shit.
Shit+shit=more shit, so you should not give a shit about them.
The idea that everything has to be perfect.
This is the physical universe. Perfection does not exist here. Some true artists have come close but NOTHING is without some imperfection.
Perfection belongs in your own universe where everything is already perfect. Your ideas are perfect. Your creations there are perfect. The physical universe is not set up for perfection.
Stop giving a shit about insisting that everything be “perfect”.
That said, by changing our definition of perfect we can come up with a standard of perfection that works in the physical universe. It will be different than what is in your head but that is ok. They are two different universes.
I don’t know why but some friends I have are scheduled to the minute every day of their lives. They are always rushing around somewhere else and checking the clock to make sure they are not late.
It is ok to be busy but it is not ok to create a situation with time that enslaves you.
You are the cause of time and you are the custodian of your attention.
Attention and time are the MOST VALUABLE THINGS IN THE UNIVERSE and yet the way some people demand them both is shocking. No one has a right to take over control of your time and attention but you. If you allow this to go unchallenged, you are a slave to whomever decides that they are entitled to it.
You are the one who knows what needs to be done to forward your various purposes in life. You have set up your life with your purposes in mind. You are in control of your time and attention no matter what anyone else says.
If you feel like you are a slave to your calendar, look it over and schedule only the things that forward your purposes or that you enjoy. If there are people in your life who demand your time and attention beyond what you feel is right, handle them or get them out of your life.
I say this with a caveat. I HATE a bad bed. There is discomfort and there is discomfort. Aside from a bad bed and food that makes me sick, I can stand most anything. Ok, or cold showers. Not thrilled with those either.
Being ok with discomfort does not mean that you have to be uncomfortable but when you don’t give a shit about it, you are willing to experience a lot more than you would if you gave a shit.
There are many places in the world that take you out of your zone of comfort. But they are so spectacular and amazing that you just shouldn’t give a shit. You may feel stupid stumbling over a foreign language but you will learn it.
You may quake like an aspen getting up in front of people and talking but you will learn that even though you are sure it will, it does not, in fact, kill you.
You may hate the fact that you have to keep your integrity on a certain point while there is massive pressure to cave. But you will find that that is the only path to survival.
Discomfort is not an indicator of good or bad but I can tell you that a lot of spectacular wins and fun lie just on the other side of discomfort.
The fact that you are not where you thought you would be by now.
Life is liquid. It changes and you change to move along with it. When you decided what you would be at this point in your life, you had not lived it yet. You did not know what would happen and you did the gosh darned best you could. But even without that, you can’t do anything about it now and looking back in regret steals your future.
Look forward. Make a new future.
Really, don’t give a shit about the news. The purpose of the news is NOT to warn you of things about which you should worry. The purpose is to keep you upset and scared. It is lies and calamity all packaged up to keep you so afraid that you simply must tune in again and again to ensure that the threat has not reached your door.
Only then can advertisers sell you an endless variety of crap that you don’t need.
Even if a major disaster were to occur close to you, the news would absolutely NOT be the place to go for correct information. Perhaps at one time this was its function but any useful news has been replaced by lies created by those who create a dangerous environment so they can sell soap.
In recent years I have seen patterns in news. It is always the same hackneyed, fear mongering bullshit dressed up in new clothes.
Go out your front door and look. Is there fire in the streets? Has a plane crashed recently in your neighborhood? Are there homicidal maniacs waiting for you in your driveway?
Probably not. And if we all woke up one day and realized that we don’t have to listen to this crap, the news stations would go broke and we would all be a lot happier. And we would have the added bonus of not buying the combination orange juicer/bicycle tire pump and other useless crap that someone is desperately trying to tell us we cannot live without.
Being Middle Class
The Middle Class mentality has been so ingrained in us that it really feels like we are committing a sin to do something that is not mainstream.
If you don’t believe me, try singing on the street one day and see how many cops show up. Not even kidding.
I once saw a quote that was attributed to Spike Lee. He talked about success by comparing it to a bucket of crabs. He said that when one crab starts making progress up and out of the bucket, the other crabs grab him and pull him back in with all their might.
He experienced this and so has anyone who has tried to do something different and admirable. (See my previous article about haters )
If you are not hurting anyone, and especially if you are helping people, it is your duty to not give a shit and to just go ahead and do it. There will always be haters. But you don’t have to give a shit about them either, and you are better off if you don’t.
In fact, you don’t have to give a shit about anything you don’t feel you should give a shit about no matter how much of a shit is being given by others about how you should.
So there. I hope you have shed several pounds of shit that you never have to give and therefore can dispense with.
Your life is yours. As long as what you are doing contributes to your health and well being, that of your family, your groups, all of mankind and life on this planet, you are doing fine despite what someone else may tell you.
Your absolute best strategy is simply to not give a shit.
Write me and let me know how you are doing. I do give a shit about you and I hope this helps.